17.04.2019 – Blogging….just that word itself brings out a reaction in me. A very mixed reaction. Random, I know.

Let me start again. I’ve been thinking about blogging for some time now. Not just blogging really, but writing. Finding a place for these thoughts in my head to go, in the hope that it is helpful for me and also for others around me who might wander onto this website and read this.

So, why does blogging bring out a reaction in me? Well, mainly because I’m not sure what I want to write about. I’m also not sure how to format the thoughts inside my brain which are a random, jumbled up mixture of things and put them into something that makes sense to others. That alone got me thinking, surely I’m not the only one that has jumbled up thoughts?

These jumbled up thoughts I once had described to me on a training course as a ball of wool. Imagine a ball of wool that has been tangled and tangled by a playful kitten and it is now tangled up in knots with loose strings attached. The idea is to then look at each string and slowly tug on it until it becomes untangled. It sounds so simple when described this way, but as a counsellor I know that sometimes it takes someone else to help pull on those strings and really undo the tightly knotted ones. It’s okay to sometimes need help with this. I know I did.

This picture for me sums up the tangled ball. Sadly, I’m not sure where it originated from so I can’t give a credit to it

I think, for me, this blog is pulling on one of those strings. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a while now but something kept stopping me. I have started to realise that it’s one of my tangled strings that still appears occasionally. This string is called perfectionism. I’m sure this word will show up a few more times in this blog as I know it is an area on which I have done a lot of self-reflection. For now though, I can see that I wanted to get this blog perfect. For it to mean something to others. To turn it into  a great piece of writing.

I’ve been doing some personal reflection as to why these thoughts of perfectionism have made an appearance again. I’m not quite there yet in terms of understanding it, but I am sure that I will in time. If not, I will seek out some help with it. Until then, I am going back to my favourite word: breathe. So I will relax, breathe, and just see where this blog takes me us. Until the next one…